Friday, November 28, 2008

Black Friday at Books are Beautiful

Books are Beautiful another unfortunate skit
The employee huddle is about over, soon the doors will open for holiday shoppers.

Remember everyone -We must work together today. Customers will be anxious and we must do our best to help everyone as quickly and nicely as we can. To all the seasonal employees help as best you can but do not get in the way.
The Doors are opened.

Lisa- Hi, Welcome to Books are Beautiful
Customer- Whats on sale ?
Lisa- ( I'm fine, thanks for asking) We have a sale table right over here
Customer- That's it?
Lisa- Yes
Customer- I left the department store early for a table
Lisa- (what a nice way to begin the day), Well enjoy the rest of your shopping
Tamika- I could have told you to leave that customer alone.
Lisa- She looked okay to me
Tamika- They all look okay to you. John, what did you think?
John- Its too early.

A grandmother walks toward the help desk
Lisa- Your turn Tamika.
Tamika- Why me?
Lisa- I just went and John's not up yet.
Tamika- Fine, I love grandmothers.
Grandmother- I need some help please.
Tamika- Yes, how can I help you today
Grandmother- Well I was looking for some books for my grands.
Tamika- I can show you some great titles.
Grandmother- Do you have Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys?
Tamika - Yes, if you like I can show you some more contemporary mysteries, your grands may like as well .
Grandmother- All I want is Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys, nothing else.
Tamika ( sorry grands I tried) They're right over here. Enjoy the rest of your holiday shopping.
Tamika returns to the help desk.
Lisa- So how did it go?
Tamika- She was a nice lady, but all she wanted were grandma gift books
Lisa- Anne of Green Gables?
Tamika - No, Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys,
Lisa- Well at least she was nice
Tamika- True

Another customer is about to approach the help desk
Tamika- I am not taking that one.
Lisa- Why?
Tamika- You'll see, lets give her to John. That will wake him up. Where did he go?
Lisa- Coffee
Tamika- Crap, Hey, how can I help you today?
Customer- I need a book for my sister- in- law
Tamika- Okay what does she like to read?
Customer- I don't know?
Tamika- Does she like fiction or non fiction?
Customer- I told you I don't know, my husband said she likes to read and to get her a book, so I am getting her a book.
Tamika- Well we also carry gift cards.
Customer- I don't want to get a gift card, they're too impersonal
Tamika (you will not ruin my day) Well let me show you a few titles. How about Heart is Home- Its a sweet story about a family that reconnects.
Customers- hmm I don't think so, that doesn't sound like her.
Tamika- How about a biography
Customer- I don't remember her talking about people at dinner parties
Tamika- What do you think she would like?
Customer- I really don't know her all that well. That's why I am asking for help. What's the new hot title
Tamika ( rolling my eyes is wrong rolling my eyes is wrong) Let me think a moment. I got it, you must get your Sister in law - Sunday is for Rest, Its the authors first books but its been getting rave reviews, we can hardly keep it in stock.
Customer- What's it about?
Tamika- Since its been flying off the shelves I haven't had a chance to look at it
Customer- Let me see it
Tamika takes customer over to Sunday is for Rest.
Customer- This looks good, I'll take it. Thanks so much
Tamika- You're so welcome, enjoy the rest of your holiday shopping

Tamika returns to the help desk
Lisa- Well that didn't look too bad
Tamika- Yea right, she was one of those I don't know what I am looking for, don't know what they like but everything you suggest is wrong customers
John- I hate those
Tamika- She was suppose to be yours
John- Lisa told me. How did you finish with her so quickly?
Tamika- I pulled the let me think a moment trick
Lisa- I don't know that one
John- I'll explain, When you get a customer who continues to say no , after the third or forth no, you pretend to think long and hard about your next your next suggestion. In reality though its a nice book there' s nothing special about it.
Tamika- I pulled it after the second no. Its the holiday season I am playing on a curve.
Lisa- That actually works
Tamika and John - Yes
Tamika- Though you must sell it up hard. You only get one chance to use the let me think a moment trick, it loses most of its magic after the first go

The store is beginning to fill up with customers. The books of beautiful employees must move away from the desk.

John- Looks like we're all up.
Lisa- Any last tips
John- When you come back up to the help desk, don't point to a customer, just say I'll help who is next. This way you avoid picking the wrong person
Tamika- Remember the moonwalk?
Lisa- What
Tamika- When you get a customer who wants to keep you there like a personal shopper, while they decide - moonwalk -slowly start to back away, while saying positive things like oh you can't go wrong either way. They will love it, happy holidays.
Lisa- Thanks guys,
Tamika- You're welcome, and I have some aspirin in my locker, you're free to help yourself John - Thanks
Lisa- I don't really get headaches but thanks anyway
Tamika- Unfortunately today you will.


Cate said...

Ah memories...of earlier today.

Great skits!

Apryl DeLancey said...

I am so happy to no longer work in the retail mess that is Black Friday. I didn't shop yesterday at all - I golfed!

Doret said...

Apryl where did you serve your time on Black Friday? I think working at a bookstore is probably one of the safest places on Black Friday. Plus you don't have to worry about the store opening at

Apryl DeLancey said...

Nordstrom when I was a freshman in college. Not just rushed but pretentious shoppers too!