Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas Eve at Books Are Beautiful

This post is dedicated to retail workers everywhere. Feel free to vent in the comment box

The Worst of Customer Shorts

Customers- Where are audio books ?
Tamika- Just right over here
Customers - Well I need some suggestions
Tamika- (you should've come in last week. Your lucky I am even walking you to the section) Well the bestsellers are right here.
Customers - Is that the best you can do?
Tamika- Yes - Next

Sam- Your total is 64.29
Customers- Hmm how do I want to pay. What was my total again?
Sam (breath) 64.29
Customers- Oh good I kept it under $85.00, I suppose I will write a check.
Sam - Noooooooooooo
Customers- Uh oh I can't find my check book. Here it is. What's my total again?
Sam- (hold it in and breath) 64.29 ( thanks, for not having anything filled in yet)
Customer- Here is my I.D.
Sam- Thank you, your receipt is in the bag.
Customer- Wait, I just have to balance my check book. If I don't do it now I'll forget.
Sam- Of course you have to do that right in front of my register while there is a long line on Christmas Eve.

Customer- I am looking for America's Dictionary
John- Sold out
Customer- Are you sure?
John - Yes
Customer- Any in the back?
John - No
Customer- Where can I get it? I need that book.
John ( If I could turn back time, I would find a way to make sure you still didn't get America's Dictionary because you're a pain in the ass) Don't know
Customer- Thanks for nothing
John- Your welcome , Next

Kelly- What can I help you find?
Customer- data technical study the 2nd edition by Williams published by Carson Press
Kelly- ( that doesn't sound like a present, and Kelly doesn't do text books ever, especially on Christmas eve) We don't carry text books
Customer- You didn't even check
Kelly- Are you looking for a text book?
Customer- I am looking for a book
Kelly - Is it for class?
Customer- Yes
Kelly - Do you know how much it cost?
Customer- Lets see its says here $150
Kelly- (quack quack man) Its a text book
Customer- Where can I get it?
Kelly (Don't care) Don't know, Next

Customer- I need a nice coffee table book about Guatemala
Tamika- (and I need not to walk away after hearing what you need) We won't have that here
Customer- Well how about a nice book about the history of Guatemala
Tamika- Everything we have about Guatemala is in travel
Customer - The gift is for a couple, who just got back from Guatemala, they don't need a travel book
Tamika ( Then why the hell are you trying to get them a book about a place they just visited, you should've got them a digital camera for the trip) Thats all we have, Next

Customer- I am looking for a books for a 9 yr old girl, and she's a very precocious reader
Lucy- Aren't they all this time of year - What does she like to read
Customer- Everything, she very advanced for her age. She's already read all the Harry Potters
Lucy- (Of course)- How about this book about a magical time machine?
Customer- Oh no thats way too short. She needs something more advanced because she's a very precocious reader
Lucy- ( I hate that word, reading is not a race) Well here are some titles other Harry Potter fans enjoyed. Next

6 comments:

Teacherninja said...

Love it! Reminds me of some of my silliest customers: the guy who wanted a dictionary on tape! The guy who wanted Cliff's notes of a John Grisham book! The creepy guy who wondered if we sold condoms!

Ok, I'll stop.

Have a good holiday.

Apryl DeLancey said...

Ha! Ah, retail during the holidays...I worked in a women's clothing department and got the most interesting questions from clueless men looking to buy for the women in their lives...

bookworm4life said...

I hope you survive and have time to rest up before the sale shoppers hit. Happy Holidays

Nexgrl said...

The question I love the most, "Why aren't you open tomorrow?"

Doret said...

Had customers today who complained about the long line. Duh its Decemeber 23. And to those who wanted suggestions, I wanted to say shop earlier. All we do now is show you where the item you want it.

@ least the creepy guy believed in safe sex. And I'd take the creepy guy over the guy who wanted a dictionary on tape any day.

Men who shop @ last minute buy anything big or expensive.

The biggest thing to go on sale are calenders. I love it when (not) customers want a discount on a calender that's already 50% off because there's a dent on the side.

We will get customers who will call tomorrow to see if we're open on Christmas. A few of the alldayers who never buy anything will probably ask as well.

Carleen Brice said...

Funny!