This post is dedicated to retail workers everywhere. Feel free to vent in the comment box
The Worst of Customer Shorts
Customers- Where are audio books ?
Tamika- Just right over here
Customers - Well I need some suggestions
Tamika- (you should've come in last week. Your lucky I am even walking you to the section) Well the bestsellers are right here.
Customers - Is that the best you can do?
Tamika- Yes - Next
Sam- Your total is 64.29
Customers- Hmm how do I want to pay. What was my total again?
Sam (breath) 64.29
Customers- Oh good I kept it under $85.00, I suppose I will write a check.
Sam - Noooooooooooo
Customers- Uh oh I can't find my check book. Here it is. What's my total again?
Sam- (hold it in and breath) 64.29 ( thanks, for not having anything filled in yet)
Customer- Here is my I.D.
Sam- Thank you, your receipt is in the bag.
Customer- Wait, I just have to balance my check book. If I don't do it now I'll forget.
Sam- Of course you have to do that right in front of my register while there is a long line on Christmas Eve.
Customer- I am looking for America's Dictionary
John- Sold out
Customer- Are you sure?
John - Yes
Customer- Any in the back?
John - No
Customer- Where can I get it? I need that book.
John ( If I could turn back time, I would find a way to make sure you still didn't get America's Dictionary because you're a pain in the ass) Don't know
Customer- Thanks for nothing
John- Your welcome , Next
Kelly- What can I help you find?
Customer- data technical study the 2nd edition by Williams published by Carson Press
Kelly- ( that doesn't sound like a present, and Kelly doesn't do text books ever, especially on Christmas eve) We don't carry text books
Customer- You didn't even check
Kelly- Are you looking for a text book?
Customer- I am looking for a book
Kelly - Is it for class?
Customer- Yes
Kelly - Do you know how much it cost?
Customer- Lets see its says here $150
Kelly- (quack quack man) Its a text book
Customer- Where can I get it?
Kelly (Don't care) Don't know, Next
Customer- I need a nice coffee table book about Guatemala
Tamika- (and I need not to walk away after hearing what you need) We won't have that here
Customer- Well how about a nice book about the history of Guatemala
Tamika- Everything we have about Guatemala is in travel
Customer - The gift is for a couple, who just got back from Guatemala, they don't need a travel book
Tamika ( Then why the hell are you trying to get them a book about a place they just visited, you should've got them a digital camera for the trip) Thats all we have, Next
Customer- I am looking for a books for a 9 yr old girl, and she's a very precocious reader
Lucy- Aren't they all this time of year - What does she like to read
Customer- Everything, she very advanced for her age. She's already read all the Harry Potters
Lucy- (Of course)- How about this book about a magical time machine?
Customer- Oh no thats way too short. She needs something more advanced because she's a very precocious reader
Lucy- ( I hate that word, reading is not a race) Well here are some titles other Harry Potter fans enjoyed. Next
6 comments:
Love it! Reminds me of some of my silliest customers: the guy who wanted a dictionary on tape! The guy who wanted Cliff's notes of a John Grisham book! The creepy guy who wondered if we sold condoms!
Ok, I'll stop.
Have a good holiday.
Ha! Ah, retail during the holidays...I worked in a women's clothing department and got the most interesting questions from clueless men looking to buy for the women in their lives...
I hope you survive and have time to rest up before the sale shoppers hit. Happy Holidays
The question I love the most, "Why aren't you open tomorrow?"
Had customers today who complained about the long line. Duh its Decemeber 23. And to those who wanted suggestions, I wanted to say shop earlier. All we do now is show you where the item you want it.
@ least the creepy guy believed in safe sex. And I'd take the creepy guy over the guy who wanted a dictionary on tape any day.
Men who shop @ last minute buy anything big or expensive.
The biggest thing to go on sale are calenders. I love it when (not) customers want a discount on a calender that's already 50% off because there's a dent on the side.
We will get customers who will call tomorrow to see if we're open on Christmas. A few of the alldayers who never buy anything will probably ask as well.
Funny!
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